The Five Stages of Killing Your Darlings
Self-inflicted emotional damage that leads to a better story.
You’ve done it. I’ve done it. Every writer has killed their darlings at some point in their journey. For me, I wish I had done it sooner.
Why? The book I’m querying has a high word count. Though still within an acceptable range, this can be a yellow flag—not just because of the added costs and time required to bring it to shelves, but because it often signals a deeper issue within the story itself.
I’ve addressed this world count in the past. Last year, I rewrote my book from scratch (twice 😭) to rework the narrative and cut a beloved POV. However, during edits, I added snippets of that POV into a few interludes to reach the initial vision for my story. This created an objectively better story than it was previously.
But not good enough.
The catalyst for the ‘current reaping of my darlings’ came last week when I received a rejection from an agent who requested a full.
I do think that, despite not having finished the manuscript, it is probably too long at 124,000 words…
That led me to reevaluate my story. For a week, I asked myself if I could cut it to 100k words. There was an answer, and I didn’t want to admit it—that pesky POV and its impact on word count and bloat to my story.
Thus, I killed my darling. I cut 45k words (🥲) this weekend by removing a POV and adjusting the ending accordingly. I’ve netted around 98k words. It will be a better book (and a duology!) because of this, and I thought to celebrate I’d go over the five stages of ‘killing your darlings’—or, at least, how I see it.
Denial
This POV is incredible. It stays.
At first, you refuse to accept that anything needs to change. You love what you wrote, and your deep emotional connection to what you created prevents you from looking at your work rationally.
⬇️
Anger
My word count is sabotaging me!
You’re not hitting the goals you set for yourself or getting feedback you didn’t expect. It might make you angry. And as the truth seeps in, you’re furious at yourself for writing something you love that is effectively useless.
⬇️
Bargaining
Okay, but what if I rewrite it slightly? I can still keep this POV!
Reality sets in, and you examine what isn’t working with a new lens. You’re not ready to abandon what you love—you make excuses or invent reasons to keep it. Every solution during this step comes from a good place, but inevitably, it will do you dirty. You’re drowning in pure desperation and trying to outsmart the inevitable.
⬇️
Depression
My story will never be as good as it was.
You finally cut what wasn’t working from your story, and the loss is a punch to your soul. You stare at your blinking cursor and wonder if you could give your story what it needs vs what you wanted it to have.
⬇️
Acceptance
Damn, my story is dope now. I hate that I was right.
Later, after you’ve made changes, you reread your manuscript and begrudgingly admit that the cut was the right decision.
Tell me, what stage have you struggled the most with?